The Chronicles of Darkness: Stockholm Syndrome
by ToriHouji
Summary: Imoen writes a letter to Jon Irenicus, talking about her feelings on her imprisonment
1. Chapter 1

They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul.  
Well, I'm no expert on souls, but I can say that your eyes were windows. Your soul showed through like a moth under glass.  
Clear and brutal.  
Clearly brutal?  
Brutally clear?  
Oh, I dunno. I'm no good at writing. I don't even know why I'm writing. Especially why I'm writing to you, considering how I never intend to give it to you.  
But, you're the only one here that I know.  
Cause Jailin sure isn't here. Nor Minsc. Jaheira. Anomen, Aerie, anyone.  
And Dynaheir and Khalid. They'll never be here again. Cause you killed them.  
And yet...I'm still writing to you.

Do I not impress you? Am I not learnéd enough for your tastes? A simple thief girl who can cast spells? A common pickpocket with knowledge of prestidigitation? I mean, why should you, you who were the court mage, you who wooed and bedded the Elf Queen, you who imprisoned me, caged me, raped me, tortured me? Why should you have to settle for a mere human charlatan when you could have royalty at your feet?  
Is that the only reason you chose me? Because I look like her? Feel like her? She of the silken skin and fair hue, exotic looks and celestial lineage? She _betrayed_ you, Jon. She abandoned you.  
Why am I jealous of her?  
By Mystra...I'm jealous of her.  
But remember: she betrayed you. Abandoned you.  
I ran away, but I came back.  
...I'll always come back...

I don't think it would be saying too much that I loved you. It would be saying too little, actually. But, how do you tell the ones you love, your remaining family, that you love the man who captured them and you, raped you, killed one of their husbands, one of their wives, and tried to destroy one of their homelands? You can't. That's why they don't know.

I'm almost happy that I'm here. I don't have to hide who I am from them while I'm here.

I think the reason I hate myself so much for loving you is that you hurt me and I liked it. I cried, but I liked it. It felt good. I was being paid attention to, attention that had always been diverted to Jailin. Gorion saved us both, but gave me to Winthrop. He kept Jailin to raise, to foster, to make his precious daughter. The only things I could do better than her were sing, play guitar, and steal things.

I gravitated to you, to the attention you gave. I thought, somehow, that a plaintive look, a word, could stir some emotion in you. That I could change you. Heal you. Fix you.

How wrong I was.

I was a little fool. I didn't try to get away. I stayed. During those times when I was alone with you, when you took me on the replica of Ellesime's bed, I didn't think of Jailin, of Jaheira, of Minsc, of anyone. I thought of you, and I thought of me, together. I pretended you were talking to me, speaking sweetly to me, kindly to me...speaking to me at all. Hell, you could barely even keep an erection. Your hate and anger were the only things keeping you strong.You kept on, trying to make yourself feel anything. And then, you got the dryads.

I was tossed aside. I became exactly like those things in the jars. Broken and unwanted. Damaged and tossed aside.

And then, the alarms sounded. I flew free. I escaped. Less than a minute of sunlight, of fresh air, and you claimed that I was a deviant. You had caught me yet again.

And now, as you're opening the door to my cell, I don't mind. You say you won't do anything worse to me than you've already done to me or my friends. My _family._

Jon, I quiver with anticipation.


	2. Author's Note

Author's Note: "A Twisted Beauty"

For those who don't know, Stockholme Syndrome is a mental syndrome that is summed up as "falling in love with your captor", whether a physical, sexual, mental, or emotion captor. Many times, the captive sees traits in the captor that they themselves show, or they believe, 99.9 of the time futiley, that they can change their captor for the better.  
Also, it is alluded to that Imoen was molested and raped by Irenicus, and many times, victims of molestation and rape will feel physical pleasure from the violation. It is only natural;the acts being performed on them are meant (in general, not by the molester/rapist) to feel pleasureable. This causes a horrible cycle within the victim; they know that what has been done to them is wrong, yet they still liked it, in a way. They become disgusted with themselves, reject all other sexual or romantic touching (even down to hugs, kisses, or even being touched at all by others), and begin to self-destruct. As a survivor of both Stockholme Syndrome (mental and emotional) and molestation, I used my experiences in this story. Imoen could not concievably think that she could change Irenicus, so she feels that because he touched her in a sexual manner, that he must feel something for her. He molested her because of her resemblance to Queen Ellesime (see first story "The Chronicles of Darkness: Rose Petal Skin"), and this allusion of similarity between them is an ego boost for Imoen. As was shown in "Baldur's Gate", Imoen was often left out of activities between the CHARNAME and Gorion, even though Gorion also brought Imoen to Candlekeep. She feels inadequate compared to her older brother/sister, though she is very good at hiding it. I had Imoen also use her feelings of pleasure, no matter how perverse, from the molestation as a base for the Stockholme Syndrome. No other person, man or woman, had touched her in such an intimate way, and she enjoyed it, so she becomes obsessed with the man. She mistakes it for love, which is also rather common with sufferers of Stockholme Syndrome.

The reason I wrote this story was to deal with my own feelings towards my emotional captor, who was also my molester. It was the clinching factor in realizing "This man is bad for me. Even when you say no, he keeps going. RUN." That is why this fic is near and dear to my heart, because it was made, as they say, out of my blood, sweat, and tears.

I hope that this has disturbed you and opened your eyes. If you find that you are suffering from Stockholme Syndrome, or you are being molested, please contact the nearest authorities. If you are recovering from either, feel free to contact me at I'm here to talk. 


End file.
